Memorable Methodist Experience

February 2006

We have lived in Christian County, Kentucky, for about 15 years, and in that time, I have been in the First Methodist Church of Hopkinsville twice.

A young man from our church (Greg) belonged to the Boy Scout troop that First Methodist Church sponsors. We went to his Eagle Scout ceremony, and that was the only time I've been in the FMC sanctuary. I think I remember dark wood pews.

My other visit to the First Methodist Church was much more memorable. Not long after we moved here, I applied for a job as a teacher in the pre-school at First Methodist. They ran an ad in the newspaper, and I sent a letter and got an interview.

The day of the interview came, and I dressed up and went to the church. Two very proper ladies met me at the rear entrance. They showed me around the pre-school and explained the program. During the tour, it became clear to me that I was probably not the person they were looking for. Then they announced that they were taking me to a church luncheon that was currently underway, and that we'd eat lunch while they interviewed me.

We sat at a small round table with our plates of food, surrounded by dozens of people at their own little tables, all talking loudly. I was very uncomfortable under the scrutiny of my interviewers/lunchmates. It wasn't easy shouting answers to their questions about my philosophy of preschool education between tiny bites of food. I didn't want to be caught with my mouth full, and I was doing most of the talking. All the while I became more and more certain that I absolutely did not want the job.

Finally the meal and the questions ended. We shook hands, and I walked out the back door and across the parking lot. I felt weakened after my horrible ordeal. An involuntary shudder came across me, and I groaned mightily with mortification and anguish.

At that moment, I heard a voice from behind me ask, "Are you all right?", and it was one of my interviewers who (unbeknownst to me) was walking behind me to her car. "Oh, yes," I chirped. "I'm just fine."

I don't know whom they hired as their new pre-school teacher, but it was not the woman they overheard making Chewbacca noises in the parking lot after her interview.